Thinking back...

Hey Sweet baby,

Remember this day, when we brought you home?

How can you be eleven months old already? How can we be planning and getting ready for your first birthday? As I was washing the dishes today, I was trying to think back, and to remember everything that I could from the previous months. I am so, so sad that I can't remember as much as I would like to. This first year has gone by so fast, and it's almost a blur. Here are the things that I do remember:

-Holding you in my arms for the first time, and not seeing anything going on around me. Only you

-Watching everyone in the hospital holding you, and only wanting you back in my arms.

-Holding you that entire first night, while we both tried to get some sleep. I can only imagine what this new world felt like to you.

-Carefully dressing you in your going home outfit, and placing you in your car seat. You looked so tiny in there.

-Sitting in the back seat with you, and holding your head up for you. 

-Introducing you to Snoop for the first time. My two sweet boys together!

-Showing you off to everyone I knew, and watching everyone "ooh and aah" over you

-Your first bath.

-Changing the sheets in the middle of the night, because you peed ALL over them!

-Waking up at night, and shooting out of bed, just to look at you and to make sure that you were ok. (Remember one of the first nights when you slept for 5 hours in a row? I've never felt fear like that before!)

-Watching you do all of your firsts: eating baby food, rolling over, sitting up, crawling, smiling and laughing.

-Teaching you lots of new things 

-You doing funny things to make mommy laugh

-Dancing with you. You love that.

-Leaving you for the first time, and noticing how I didn't feel whole. I still feel that way every time I leave you,

Baby boy, there are so many things that I am trying to remember. And don't worry if every once in awhile as your birthday is approaching, if you catch mommy watching you, or if you see mommy cry a little. It's just me remembering, and  wondering where in the world the time has gone. I love you so much sweet boy.